Ciao di nuovo!
Although this introduction might have made more sense as my first post, I think I just needed a little more time to adjust and reassess what I want to get out of my time here in Italy. Before I actually arrived, I thought I knew exactly what I would get out of my trip: I would become fluent in Italian, befriend all of the locals and the city would beg me to stay upon departure. But I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in the magic of traveling abroad, so I’ve adjusted my goals a little to better fit the reality of my time here.
As I’ve mentioned, my program is supposed to be fully immersive into both the language and the culture. Starting tomorrow, I will be taking three classes of various topics solely in Italian, along with an almost daily Italian language class. My program also combines the importance of immersion with volunteering, so I am required to spend at least five hours volunteering each week. For some of my hours I am doing “Progetto Intrecci,” where I help refugees learn Italian in various different aspects (and they’ve been helping me with my Italian, too). And the last main factor of immersion is staying with a host family. My family consists of a middle-aged woman and her 16 year-old daughter, and they are incredibly kind and patient with me as I better my Italian.
As I have become acclimated to my daily life here, I’ve realized that the hope of becoming fluent in Italian in t-minus three months is a bit idealistic. I think it has definitely been a good reference point for me, because I obviously want to learn and be able to communicate as much as possible, but full fluency is a much longer journey. I have also had to come to terms with the fact that speaking Italian with professors and other students who are learning Italian is considerably easier than speaking with native Italian speakers who all have their own dialects and slang. It’s been a nice reminder, though, about why I find language so beautiful; it’s how we express ourselves so of course there is not going to be one textbook way to say something. So my goal has more so shifted to improving my conversational skills enough to hold a decent conversation with my host family that doesn’t revolve around laundry, classes or dinner, with the baristas that I buy a soy cappuccino from everyday and with all of the other lovely people I see on a daily basis.
Another more academic goal I would like to work on throughout the semester is developing a better understanding of the roles that race, gender and class play in Italian society. I think that often Americans like to assume that most countries are better than in ours in terms of equality, which of course is true in some cases but certainly not all. This will definitely be a harder goal to achieve because it’s always difficult to get people to first, acknowledge that these issues exist in their spaces, and then second, take part in critical conversation about them.
One of the classes I am taking this semester is “Cultural Anthropology: Siena and its Territory, History, Culture,” and I am hoping that it will provide some background information that will be useful in deciphering the structure of Italian society. But, understanding the entire social and political structure of a different country in four months seems just as daunting as learning a whole language in the same amount of time. So this goal will also be carried on after my time here, but I think immersing myself in the culture, watching the Italian news, talking to locals and merely just observing the world around me is a solid start to understanding the society’s complexities.
Along the lines of more personal goals, I’m really hoping to become more independent in that I learn to embrace doing things on my own. When I first got here I was very hesitant to venture out on my own, and I still kind of am, because my anxiety has kind of instilled a fear in getting lost or lonely. I’ve definitely gotten more comfortable roaming my host city now that I know the majors roads and where the landmarks will lead me. But no matter how many nights I stay awake scouring google maps, there’s no way I will be this comfortable everywhere I visit.
Throughout my travels, with trial and error, I want to learn how to be okay with being lost, because ultimately it would mean that I trust myself enough to find my way back. Siena is surrounded by many lovely, little towns that can each be explored in a day trip, and I would hate to miss out on everything they have to offer just because I couldn’t bear to take the bus by myself. I don’t want to use the cliche and say that I am hoping to “find myself” while I am abroad, but rather I am hoping that I can lose myself, at least a little bit.